Rules of Engagement on January 28, 2020
Love is a battlefield for a quirky matchmaker and the cocky football star who hires her to find him a wife.
As the owner of Perfect Pairings matchmaking service, Maddie McRae earns her living helping others fall in love. Dubbed the Wedding Whisperer due to her success getting couples down the aisle, the sweet Southern belle knows that the foundation of wedded bliss is built on similarities: opposites might attract, but they don’t stay together.
Which is why she’s holding out for her own Prince Charming, a perfect gentleman she believes will arrive one day and sweep her off her feet with his devotion, kindness, and charm.
Enter Mason Spark.
Rude, arrogant, and notoriously allergic to monogamy, the hottest quarterback in the NFL is Maddie’s polar opposite. He’s also her new client. Her gorgeous, infuriating new client who’s paying her an outrageous sum of money to find him a wife. With his multi-million dollar contract on the line due to his behavior on and off the field, bad boy Mason is willing to pretend to settle down.
But when he starts to fall for the adorkable matchmaker who can’t stand him, the playboy finds himself in the game of his life to keep something he never thought he’d lose—his heart.
There are no words to describe how incredibly funny this story was! I haven’t laughed so hard while reading for a long time. Rules of Engagement is a hoot!
The gist of it: there’s this football player, Mason, in need of a wife, so his agent signs him to a matchmaker company owned by a steel magnolia, true Southern Belle, named Maddie.
Only it isn’t so easy, because our Mason here is kinda cantankerous.
“Earnest?” “Sincere. Like you’re into it.” “Yeah, I know what the word means. But have you seen my face?” I point to it. “The default setting is Fuck You, volume ten!”
Their first meeting was a disaster, but sparks were flying and the chemistry was there, hidden under murderous thoughts.
“She smiles. I feel that smile all the way down to the darkest corner of my soul, the place where light never shines and I keep all the monsters hidden under lock and key. She smiles with her whole body. With her whole being, like she’s a conductor of light itself and all that’s good and pure in the universe is being channeled through her on its way to me, where it surrounds me and bathes me in golden rays of sunshine, so warm and sweet I could almost cry.”
She really tries to set him up with different great girls, but he’s still not interested. Maybe because someone else already caught his eye?
Besides, she’s not my type. Any woman who wears her blouse buttoned all the way up over her A cups is totally not my type. I mean, forget about those big brown eyes. And that smartass mouth. And that scathing sense of humor. And that heartbreakingly beautiful smile. That sweet angel’s smile. Forget all about that. Yeah, forget it.
They will deny their attraction ’till the very end. For a professional matchmaker she will seem obtuse. Even if she truly sees him for what he is, despite the cursing, lack of manners and all that shouting he does, she won’t figure out she’s attracted to him until…. I’ll let you find out for yourself.
“You wouldn’t know it by lookin’ at him—or talkin’ to him, either—but he’s a huge softie. As soft as they come. A marshmallow is harder than Mason. Only he’s been through some tough shit and sometimes when people’ve been through enough tough shit, they get all calloused and crabby and start actin’ like dicks. Like a defense mechanism thing.”
Their banter and arguments makes me think of Tabby & Connor. J.T. Geissinger is amazing when she wants her characters to be funny without trying, to seem like mortal enemies while they secretly fall in love, plus she makes this crazy analogies that will simply make you roll on the floor laughing.
“I sit with it for a moment, amazed how he can bring out my maternal side only a few minutes after I wanted to push him into traffic. He gives me emotional whiplash.”
“The same can’t be said for my new client, who appears to have an angry goth porcupine nesting on top of his cranium. “Bed head” doesn’t even begin to cover it. It looks like his preferred hair styling method is sticking his head into a blender and setting it to puree.”
“Fine. She’s not a nut. She’s a mouthy shrimp with a Napoleon complex. And homely to boot.”
I have a question for you. Do you want your next read to be the most amazing hilarious rom-com? If your answer is yes, then don’t just sit there, go grab yourself a copy of J.T. Geissinger’s newest release and make sure you don’t read it in the middle of the night like i did, because I woke my husband four times with my out loud laughter. 🤪 #sorrynotsorry